I am a compete introvert. I hate crowds and speaking in public, I even hated speaking in front of a small class of students at uni. I am just not made for public speaking, so I decided that I would start a YouTube channel.
In Actual fact, starting a YouTube channel is something that I have wanted to do for a while. I initially created a channel back in 2014, uploading my first videos in 2016. However, I could not face speaking or appearing on camera. Being a photographer, of sorts, I was used to hiding behind the camera. I love going out with my camera, taking pictures and sharing them with with others, telling the stories behind them and hoping people would enjoy them too, but I was always in the background and never the foreground.
I am absolutely not the best photographer, far from it. However, there is just something that I enjoy about capturing images and telling stories. It gives me a creative outlet and enables me to continue learning. Back in 2016, I was really getting into YouTube videos. I was hardly watching TV anymore because I found all these people that were creating videos of things that I wanted to watch. I always thought that I was a weirdo by being fascinated by subjects like dead malls. However, I had now found this community of people, that all loved dead malls.
One of my friends kept telling me that I should do YouTube. I would love to, I always said, I’m just way too insecure to be on the internet. I struggle with confidence and body image and I was worried what everyone would think. Everyone will be judging me, I thought. However, after finding more and more people on YouTube that had similar interests to myself and reading some of the comments on their videos. I thought that I maybe had something to offer people. I perhaps could create videos that would make people feel better.
That may sound a little odd, but I find comfort in watching my favourite YouTubers. They are real people, just like me. They are not airbrushed or scripted, they are simply sharing their passions for others to see. I also found myself drawn to people similar values and mindsets to myself. Often, society is judgemental and I found myself constantly being looked down on by others for my life choices. However, through YouTube, I found people that I could relate to and I found comfort in knowing that I was not alone, there were all these other weirdos out there, just like me. I thought to myself, I can make people’s lives better by sharing places with them that they may never be able to physically visit. I am fortunate that I can travel and visit places, not everyone has this opportunity and I wanted to be able to share my experiences with others.
However, I still had to get over my camera shyness. One big helping hand was reading Mark Manson’s book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. The book taught me that you have to fail in order to be successful and it is how you deal with failure and rejection, not success that really matters OK, I thought, I’m going to try and do You Tube. I’m going to give less f*cks about what people think about me and just go for it.
I still found that I could not appear on camera. I hated the way I looked and sounded. Baby steps, I though, so I started to narrate videos and not show my face. Once I became confident in speaking on camera, I started to make small cameo appearances in my videos, from there I stared to show my face a little more and speak on camera.
I am about one year into my YouTube journey. However, I am still not completely confident in being on camera. I have dramatically improved and feel much more confident appearing on camera, but I am not in a place where I love the camera and often, the camera certainly does not love me. I have a lot of content planned and I am super enthusiastic about creating videos and making content that I love and hopefully others will love too. For now, my YouTube journey is still a work in progress, but I hope that others can find joy and comfort in my content, just as I do.
I am always learning and want to continue to improve. Please check out my channel and I appreciate any feedback and comments that you may have.
Thanks for reading.